Santa Baby
by one-hep-cat
Summary: Revised 2-2-09. One shot. Shounen ai. Christmas is coming to the MaxwellYuy household and Duo knows it's going to be the best one ever. If he can just convince Heero to do one little thing...


**Santa Baby**

_AN: I couldn't resist this holiday ficlet… This one-shot is for the seasonally brave (i.e. the extremely silly). It was inspired by a certain Christmas carol. I hereby accept any blame for emotional trauma or endless bouts of slightly dysfunctional holiday caroling that this story might inspire._

_Disclaimer: We're all intelligent beings here. So I don't have to explain how I don't own GW or any related products (except a copy of the series and a couple manga…). _

_Warnings: shounen ai, out-of-character-ness?, silly humor_

"Come on Heero…"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I ask you the same question."

"Red looks terrible on me."

"You've worn red before. And it looks perfectly fine on you."

"That's regular red. This is Christmas red. I do _not_ do Christmas red."

"Why do I get the feeling you just don't want to wear it?"

"I don't know. Why _do_ you get that feeling, Heero?"

"Baka."

"Daddy!" called a small voice from the small living room of an equally small apartment.

"What?" two voices called back to her.

"Just wear it, Heero. It's Christmas."

"Duo..."

"I want a sammich!"

Duo grinned at his spouse. "Your child is hungry."

"She's not really mine, if you want to be technical about it. She's someone else's. We just happened to adopt her. And I'm not wearing it," Heero replied, following Duo from their bedroom.

"Oh, you know the technicalities are rubbish. She's ours. And _please?_" He added an obnoxious pout to his request.

Heero sighed loudly. "Maybe," he finally consented as they rounded into the living room.

On the floor with a coloring book sprawled Emily, the little red-haired girl Heero and Duo called their own, singing her own rendition of 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town'.

"You better not pout. You better watch cry! You better not pout I'm telling you why. Sanna Claus is coming to town…"

Fighting back a laugh, Duo crouched next to her and pulled on a short pigtail. "What are you coloring there, squirt?"

"A fish." She stabbed the picture with her finger to point it out. "I want a sammich."

He grinned. "One-track mind, huh? But is that how you ask for something?"

She glanced up at him and wrinkled her nose. "Please?"

"What kind of sandwich do you want?"

"G'rilla cheese."

He snorted back a second laugh. "Gorilla cheese it is."

Rising to his feet, he headed to the kitchen with Heero on his heels.

"Gorilla cheese?"

"Grilled cheese. I thought you were the brilliant one. Even _I_ figured that out."

Heero sighed. "You taught her that."

"She's three. She came up with it on her own." There was a note of impish pride in his voice.

"Your daughter is going to end up just like you."

"_Our_," Duo said, pulling out a frying pan and set to making the sandwich. "And you say that like it's a bad thing."

"Considering you were probably a hellion as a child…" he said, slipping his arms around his waist.

"Can't deny that," he admitted, shivering agreeably when Heero pushed his long braid aside and kissed the side of his neck. "So you'll wear it, right? Promise?"

"Oh fine. Yes. I promise." He sighed and then smirked, leaning close to Duo's ear. "But you are going to owe me for this."

Again, Duo shivered. "Right. Right… Anything you want, baby." He would've 'repaid' Heero right then for his favor, but Emily was expecting her 'Gorilla' cheese sandwich. "Now go away or I'm going to end up burning the sandwich."

Heero snatched a kiss from him and finally disappeared from the kitchen. Duo could hear Emily screaming Christmas carols now. He grinned and hummed a carol to himself, as he tipped the frying pan over and dumped the sandwich onto a plate. This Christmas would be the best one ever.

----

"Do I have to wear this beard?"

"Yes. Everyone knows the commercial Santa Claus has a white beard. You're lucky I don't have a fat suit." Duo suddenly snickered at the mental image of Heero overweight.

"It irritates my face."

"Oh you poor baby. Who would've thought Gundam Pilot 01 would've been such a wuss when it came to a silly Christmas costume."

"I could kill you, you know."

"Heero, love… you've been threatening me with that since I met you what… six years ago? I think the potency of that threat is beginning to wear off," Duo replied, snapping the beard into place again. "There. One bonafide jolly Ol' St. Nick. Well… excluding the jolly," he teased, catching a glimpse of Heero's less-than-pleased expression.

Heero picked at the red suit he had been forced into. Well, forced, with the promise of delicious return, that is. It was hot. It was ugly. And it smelled too strongly of peppermint. "Where did you get this from, anyway?"

"That costume shop on Keowee. Take good care of it. It's expensive if I have to get it cleaned or replaced."

Heero pulled the beard down again. "I'll remember that later tonight." He gave Duo a long once-over. Duo squirmed. "Now… are you certain she's going to sneak up to try to catch me? She's only three. And I don't want to wear this stupid suit for no reason."

Duo reached over and snapped the beard in place once more. "She's a kid. And she's being partly raised by me. Of course she'll sneak." He grabbed the thick black belt around his slim waist and pulled him closer. "Besides, Santa. You look pretty hot."

"Hot is an understatement," he muttered, flapping the beard in a poor attempt to generate air circulation.

He laughed. "Now come on, finish putting out the presents." He sat on the sofa near the Christmas tree and snagged a cookie off the coffee table.

"Why me?"

"You're the fat man in red. It's your job," he grinned, biting the head off a snowman.

"I'm really going to kill you one of these days." He crouched down and stuffed a few presents under the tree.

Duo tilted his head to the side, admiring Heero's back end. "Oh _yeah_… Looks like Santa has a brand new bag. I think furry red pants are _you_, baby."

Heero glared at him over his shoulder. "Next year, _you_ are wearing this damned suit," he grunted, getting to his feet. "Now honestly, will you help me with this? I think you went crazy shopping for Emily this year…"

"They aren't all for Emily. Some are for you," he said, getting to his feet and grabbing a few wrapped gifts from one of the many duffel bags they had hidden them in. He gave Heero the rest of his cookie.

"I don't need presents," Heero replied around a mouthful of cookie. He pulled Duo away from the duffel. "I just need you."

"Aww, Heero…" he moaned, wrapping his arms around his neck. "That's so sweet. But I went through all the trouble of getting you this." He held a ball of leaves and berries over his head.

"Mistletoe?"

"That's right, Santa baby…. How about you hurry down my chimney tonight?"

"That has got to be the cheesiest, most idiotic line I've ever heard," he grumbled.

"I have every right to be cheesy. It's Christmas." Duo grinned Heero leaned in and kissed him. "Ack! Ack! Okay… stop… Mouthful of Santa-hair." He picked a white strand of hair out of his mouth. "You're right. The beard. Got to go."

"I thought you'd eventually see it my way," he replied, pulling the beard down and tugging Duo up against him for another kiss.

"Ah, shut up you big beardless baby." His chuckles turned into a delighted moan as Heero kissed him hard, pulling him even closer. He tasted like sugar cookie and Heero and it was oh so very good. He groaned when Heero broke the kiss.

"Are we done here? Any more gifts to give?"

"Done. Yes. Gifts… well, I can give you one early, right?" He grinned, pulling Heero down the hall. "Let's go make some Christmas magic."

"Okay, I lied. _That_ is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard. But as long as I can get out of this suit."

"Ah… don't worry. Your gift doesn't involve much clothing at all."

"I think I like that sort of gift."

And the bedroom door clicked shut behind them.

----

Christmas morning had come. Heero and Duo appeared sated and looked quite pleased with themselves. Emily had opened her presents and seemed content with what she had received. But, pleased and sated though they were, it didn't escape either parent's notice that she was rather subdued for a child on Christmas morning. And she kept throwing Duo hateful glares.

"Maybe I forgot to get her something?" Duo said when they disappeared into the kitchen to make breakfast—a fast helping of cereal and toast.

"She's not _that_ selfish, is she?" Heero asked, slathering toast with butter for Duo and himself, grape jelly for Emily.

"I didn't think so… but maybe…" They carried the breakfast out to the dinner table, where Emily sat expectantly with her new stuffed rabbit.

"There you go squirt. Grape toast and Cinnamon Crunchies. Just how you like them," Duo said, placing the bowl and toast before her.

She glared at him again and snapped her head away. Duo and Heero exchanged glances and he shrugged, sitting down with his own breakfast. They ate in relative silence, with Emily occasionally shooting glares at Duo.

Finally, he couldn't take it any more. If she was mad because she didn't get a present, well… she'd have to get over it. He was going to talk this selfishness right out of her. "Something the matter, Em?"

"Hmph!"

"Emily, your father asked you a question," Heero said sternly.

"Hmph!"

They exchanged another look. She was usually not obstinate when a second 'order' was issued.

"Daddy!" she suddenly blurted out, turning to Heero.

He blinked. "What is it?"

She screwed up her face and wailed, "Daddy! I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus!"

Duo, who had just taken a bite of cereal, nearly choked on it.

"I did! I did! He was kissing Santa!"

Heero had to roll his lips together to keep from laughing. It was several long seconds before he could say, forcing a firm tone, "He was?"

Duo bit his tongue hard enough to bleed in order to keep from laughing.

"Yes!"

"Duo, is this true?" Heero asked him sternly.

"Huh? What? Oh… er… yes. Yes, I admit it. I was kissing Santa."

"See! He was very bad! Bad Daddy! He needs to be spanked and sent to his room!"

This time Duo _did_ choke. Oh the implications of that sentence that this innocent child knew nothing about.

Heero eyed him. "She's right you know. You're going to have to be punished. You can't go around kissing Santa Claus."

He feigned his remorse, though he felt quite hot inside. "Ah yes. I understand. Shall I go to our room now?"

"Later tonight. It is Christmas after all."

Across the table, Emily looked content now that she was certain Daddy wouldn't go kissing Santa anymore. "Oh! And Santa is really _real!_" she shrieked.

Duo grinned at Heero. 'I was right,' he mouthed.

It was the best Christmas ever

_Fin._


End file.
